Eat your Heart out.

Valentines day is upon us once again and people are scrambling to get dinner reservations for overpriced pre-fixe menus, agonizing over which crappy “be mine” teddy bear to buy at Walgreens and in general feeling inadequate after trying to affirm their love with waxy chocolates and marked-up flowers. Every year we all become slaves to the mad whims of a sadistic fat baby with wings and a bow.

Of course those are the lucky ones who have someone to bask in consumerism with. For the single folks of the world Valentines day is basically a swift kick to the groin from Eros himself.

Ok that sounds kind of grim I know, but there's lots of happy Valentines sentient out there so I wanted to speak to the dark side of this love fest.

To that end I say, when the world jams a bunch of hearts in your face, eat that motherhumpin'' heart! Whether you're a cynic, devoid of romance like me. Or a single person bombarded by entire aisles of pink and lace at the grocery store, when you're just trying to buy a pint of ice cream to eat alone on the couch. Or even if you're into the the Valentines thing hook line and sinker and are just flat broke because you spent your life savings on mylar balloons.

Well, I have the perfect meal for February 14th. It's cheap. It's a little bit ironic and hateful. It's elegant in it's presentation. And most of all it's freakin' delicious.

Yes I'm talking about beef heart. That big bovine blood pump (porn movie title idea #47).

Our local market has been carrying beef heart for years and I've always walked by thinking, “yikes, what do you do with that thing?” Well, in an effort to make a few bucks stretch till the end of the month, I decided to take a risk. It was between Top Ramen or this intimidating organ, so we got it home and I quickly found my fears to be unfounded.

I was surprised at how versatile and delicious it was. Best of all, beef heart is dirt cheap. The one I picked up cost $3 and I was able to make a meal that would be a weekend's worth of food for a single person, more than enough for a couple and could have easily feed up to four adults if you're into the group thing...*cough*

So, this year why not celebrate Valentines day by eating it's most famous symbol! (I'm talking about the heart and not the cherub with the bow, although there's always next year...)

Here's the breakdown:

First of all you have to trim and clean the thing. There's a lot of connective tissue inside the heart. You want to carefully cut that off with a sharp knife and discard.

Next, and this may go against your instincts when working with beef, you want to trim off all of the fat so that you are left with a solid deep red heart steak (insert lame vampire joke here).

Now that it's ready for action, you can do a lot of different preparations with only one three dollar heart. I decided to make beef heart three ways:

-Stewed with carrots in red wine.

-Marinated and pan fried with bacon, topped with a quail egg.

-Seared medium rare with an anaheim pepper sauce.

So I portioned it to do just that. First I cut some into 1-inch cubes to stew, then I minced some more to pan fry and left the thickest part of the heart intact for searing.

Now to cook the damn thing!

Stewed Beef Heart in red wine with carrots:

--In a pressure cooker or dutch oven, heat some olive oil then add chopped onions and herbs de provence. --Cook for a couple minutes until onions soften a little. Roll the cubes of heart in flour and add them to the pot to sear on all sides.

--Add a cup or so of chopped carrots and a couple cups of red wine. However much it takes to just cover the beef heart.

--Cook in the pressure cooker for 1 hour or simmer in the dutch oven for 2-3 hours. When you can pull it apart with a fork, you know it's done.

--Uncover and make a reduce whatever wine is left until it has a gravy like consistency.

--Top with some crumble goat cheese to serve.

Marinated, pan fried, Beef Heart, in raddicchio leaf with poached quail egg:

--While those chunks are stewing, place the minced heart in a bowl with some olive oil, vinegar (I used tarragon vinegar, but you can use apple cider vinegar or a wine based one).

--Chop some cilantro in there along with a couple cloves of minced garlic. Lastly, throw some salt and pepper on that bad boy and just a tiny bit of sugar. Toss, cover and set aside at room temperature until the stew is ready. --When the time is right, cut two strips of bacon into small pieces and fry in a skillet until fat is rendered and they are almost crispy.

--Add the marinated beef heart and stir it in with the bacon.

--Cook on medium for 3-5 minutes, stirring occasionally.

--Scoop out the finished minced masterpiece into a radicchio leaf and top with a poached quail egg.

Seared Beef Heart with anaheim pepper sauce:

--Last but not least, this one is the easiest. Salt and pepper all sides of your heart steak as you would a regular cut, then cover and let sit at room temperature.

--Heat olive oil in a very hot pan until just starting to smoke.

--Slap that steak in the middle of the pan and hear that sizzle!

--Add a couple tablespoons of butter and some fresh rosemary to the pan to melt.

-- After 2-3 minutes flip the steak and spoon baste it with the butter for another 2-3 minutes.

--When you feel like you have a nice char on the outside, remove from heat and let rest for 5 minutes. Careful not to over cook it or it will toughen right up. Err on the side of rare.

--Slice it into thin strips against the grain and top with your Anaheim pepper sauce.

For the anaheim pepper sauce:

--Roast 2 medium anaheim peppers in the broiler or 500 degree oven until the skin is charred all around.

--Remove from oven and let cool enough to be able to touch, the charred skin should slide off of the peppers easily in your hands.

--Meanwhile cook some diced onions and minced garlic in a saucepan with some olive oil.

--Add the peppers, some salt, a splash of vinegar, a pinch of sugar and a little sake.

--Cook that down for a few minutes until the excess liquid is evaporated.

--Transfer to a blender or use an immersion blender, to mix it all together.

Side options:

I made some homemade linguine with a sake, butter sauce and fresh parsley, plus an orange vinegar radicchio salad to go with it. But you could serve this with anything you traditionally have with beef. Potatoes, risotto, brussels sprouts, etc. Go with your heart on this one...

Here's the finished product:

Pairings:

Booze: As with most beef, you can't go wrong with a nice aggressive Cabernet. The heart is no different. Get two bottles just in case. You don't want to run out.

Music: My choice of music to accompany this meal should come as no surprise. One of my heroes, the late great Don Van Vliet, a.k.a. Captain Beefheart. Here's one of my favorites, “Sure Nuff and Yes I Do”. As usual play it at maximum volume, it pairs nicely that way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCSPf5Viwd0

Happy Valentines Day!!