South by South Gomer Tour - DAY ONE: Shut up and Drink...but beware the dreaded Ass Juice....
- Aug 10, 2015
- 4 min read
Day one:
An eager and enthusiastic band materialized at the garage/band room around 9am on July 3rd. We each had about four to six hours of sleep thanks to the anticipation of the road, last minute packing, and blow-drying snuff hankies. There's all sorts of fun reasons to not get enough sleep before a big trip.
Regardless, bright eyed and bushy tailed, we hoisted our instruments and personal baggage into the big blue van we rented
for the trip. The van was a retired Super Shuttle and even though the letters had been peeled off, we fooled more than one hotel desk clerk as we pulled up. This van would be our home for more hours than any room with a bed or even any venue we played in. We got to know each lump in each cushion and our butts formed to it more than it formed to our butts. It has a secret name known only to us of course, since all vehicles of great worth and importance need a name. We loved her and she loved us back. For the purposes of this journal we shall simply call her “The Van”.
Before hitting the road we each consumed a small but vital dram of John Jameson's whiskey to add a little grease to the Gomer wheels. Before we knew it we were on the road, heading southeast in route to our first stop the sleepy hamlet of Las Vegas!
It was not a short drive.
Past the windmills of Livermore and the Walmarts of Tracy, we barreled down I-5, then, through Bakersfield and on through Barstow. In this undiscovered gem of California we took a detour to avoid traffic through the charming town of Boron “the Borax capitol of the world“. We came to think of it as the “burnt out shack capitol of the world“. This is where Bryn came up with a new song title, “Set it on fire, put it out with a shotgun“. Look for that on our next tour though the post apocalyptic wilds of southern California.
We ate meat gum and grilled up some 'Dashboard Paninis' (free hipster band name for whoever wants it), saw some Joshua trees and a fair amount of dirt, finally after 10+ hours rolling at 75 miles an hour through bat country we landed in bonney olde Las Vegas.
We checked into Best American Suites, right next door to Hooters! After a victory cocktail we slicked up our hair, powdered our nuts and set out into the brisk 100 degree evening air.
Our destination was the Double Down Saloon, “the happiest place on earth” where they command each patron to Shut Up and Drink and the home of the dreaded Ass Juice (which we didn't try for some reason, and I shall always regret my responsible restraint to my dying day). It was a bonafide punk rock shithole a few blocks from the strip. We parked outside, then piled in to soak up some suds and air conditioning and get a lay of the land. There happened to be a radio show going on and of course Mark was immediately on the air answering questions about Schlongs...we had arrived in Vegas for sure.
After checking in with the bar we found out that we were slotted to go on last out of four bands. As it was around 10pm already, that put our start time at 2:30am! So that gave us about five hours before we hit the stage.
Our quest was two fold:
First try not to fall asleep after four hours of sleep and a ten hour drive.
Second try not to drink a gallon of booze before we got a chance to play (this may explain the decision not to drink the Ass Juice, which we came to find out was a wassail of all the spilt well spirits collected in a bucket).
While we were already quite tired after a short night's sleep and an epic drive, we pushed through with the help of warm (borderline boiling) Red Bulls from the van and cold Red Stripes from the bar. The greatest benefit to all this waiting was a chance to see The Fever perform and to get to know Coco and Teut. They are a hot duo, both musically and physically from roundabouts Berlin who were wrapping up a big nation wide loop and heading straight to LA after their set. Since they went on first around 10pm, they had no obligation to stick around and watch us, but they did! Even through the enthusiastic, but not incredibly polished band that played right before us.
Those two cats were among our favorite folks we met on the road and we would meet them again...more on that later...
At last we took the stage and served up our first song at around 2:45am. That's when our third or forth wave of energy kicked in with the first note.
Where gin & tonic failed, Gomer punk prevailed.
We hit the ground running and played really well, if maybe a little too fast, but that what happens when you listen to punk rock for five hours before you hit the stage. The crowd was almost all locals and while it was modest in size by that point in the evening, everyone was appreciative and we even got some warm hugs from some very high people at the end.
We loaded out and back into our second story hotel room by 4am. One gig down, with sunrise looming on the horizon we had one more night cap and sunk into our motel beds.
Stay tuned for Day 2 in tomorrow's dramatic continuation of South by South Gomer!!!
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