A drunken slob's quest for fitness: An interview with workout wunderkind Catherine Wohlwend

As I grow a bit older and my beer baby matures into a full grown, mustachioed man in my belly, I start to think about health and exercise. I don't actually do anything about it of course, but I do give it a think.

The problem with being health conscious is this: I really enjoy butter and bacon and fermented beverages. Like a lot. Also I'm not a huge fan of moving around.

It's overrated.

So far this has worked out pretty well as a lifestyle. I've sauntered through a few decades jamming cakes and cocktails down my gullet and my man-boobs are only about an A-Cup. Since I measure success by the distance away from the worst case scenario, I'm calling this a win!

Still between the hours of 9am-11am, I'm a realist. During those designated hours of hand wringing, I realize I need is to do something healthy for myself at this stage of the game. Alas I have what some might call a deficit of will power when it comes to working out and eating right, so I need to trick myself somehow. If I don't know I'm being healthy, then I will accidentally eat right and perhaps explore locomotion a little. Next thing you know I'll be on a billboard selling underwear to the Japanese!

To that end I sat down with my pal Catherine Wohlwend, creator of the super fab fitness/lifestyle blog Just Like Recess. I asked her a bunch of stupid questions which she actually answered for some reason. Careful, you might learn something (she's smart and stuff).

In your blog you write about fitness, and an active outdoor lifestyle being the path to a long and healthy life. This makes sense in theory but it doesn't leave much room for say, deep frying a stick of butter or wrapping everything in your refrigerator in bacon. We all want to live forever but if at the end of the day you're desiccating your salivary glands with a rice cake, then what's the point? Elvis might have died on the toilet, but I'm pretty sure he had a pork rind in his hand and a smile on his face. My question to you is this: How can one have a healthy meal as still feel like a decedent bacchanalian?

Catherine: I think we are more than same than different on this front: I believe that a life without the 4 Bs (beer, bread, butter and bacon) is frankly not one worth living. A big part of my nutrition philosophy is to not demonize any one food and nothing is off-limits. So, if I were in the presence of someone deep-frying butter, you'd bet I'd sample that shit. Would I eat a whole stick of it? No, I am a civilized human being after all. And, frankly, what would an entire stick of butter even do to my colon?! I shudder at the thought. The key is eating to satisfaction, not overeating myself to a bellyache, ya dig?

My philosophy is more along the lines of living a quality life vs. a quantity life. That is, living a long time would be great and all, but to be honest, I want each day to also be great. Because you never know what could happen tomorrow right? But today in this moment I want to be able to chase my dog around and have the ability to scamper up hills. For me, things make a quality and happy life.

Plus, it’s kind of a silly cliché that being an exercise-fiend would mean I’d have to limit myself to only wheat-grass and whey protein. Why? Because I am training pretty intensely hard right now so my muscles are saying FEEEEED ME all the time. Basically, I am eating like a teenage boy. The lesson is that, in general terms, muscle tissue requires a lot of energy to keep it happy. So, if you have significant lean muscle mass, you will need to eat more calories than someone your same size that has less muscle mass to sustain that. While I don’t train to eat (I think that is a slippery slope to an eating disorder) it does make that sampling of fried butter something I am personally not worried about. Bottom line? If you are exercising intensely, you might have more wiggle room than your couch potato counterpart.

Diet fads come and go, but it seems carbs are always on trial for one thing or another. This week it's gluten of course (that's a whole other can o' buckwheat). Anyway, how does one reconcile their love for bread with their desire to not look like they're about give birth to a basketball ball? Less buns and more bacon?

Catherine: Okay, here's the thing. Food is not evil. It's not a moral issue. At it's base, food is fuel, right? It's calories that help us breathe, grow muscle tissue and keep our organs alive. It just happens to be a very pleasurable fuel that is embedded in our cultural and familial traditions. It’s become a social issue, too, where it's idealized to eat this way or that way and then we decry our way the superior way of eating. It reminds me about this little thing we call…religion. But while we are busy demonizing entire food groups, it's easy to forget that many non-refined carbohydrates are incredibly nutrient-dense and really damn good for you. Many have high amounts of fiber, again, something you need for your body to function and can also be something that helps you feel more "full", which can be a good thing for those trying to lose weight. And! And! Lentils have some of the best nutrient to cost ratio, meaning they are cheap and healthy. I'm not going to tell someone on a budget that they should eliminate this food just for the sake of a Paleo diet. That's cray cray, yo.

And, no, gluten is not the devil. There, I said it. I eat gluten and carbs. Sometimes I eat more than one carb in a meal...and I am pretty sure I don't look like I am birthing a basketball?

Here's the thing. Carbs are the low-hanging fruit of the modern culinary palate. A lot of people lose weight when they stop eating them because carbs are calorie-dense. Oh you want rice with that delicious stir-fry, right? Well, a "serving" of rice is typically a 1/2 cup and it's just over 100 calories. When have you ever eaten a half cup of rice and been satisfied? The answer is never. You have never been satisfied with a 1/2 cup of rice.

So, in short, we tend to overeat carbs and many folks eat refined carbohydrates that can have lots of added sugar and other shit we don't need.

My advice on this front would be to:

1. Understand what a serving is. Figure that shit out, yo. And then teach yourself how to eyeball it. You don’t have time to get a measuring cup out every time, right? So learn what it looks like.

2. Have your non-negotiable carbs. I love me some bread. I could probably eat hot, toasted, sourdough bread slathered with real butter everyday for the rest of my life and be super happy. So, I choose bread as something I will never eliminate from my diet. Eat these without shame or guilt and I bet you'll naturally end up eating these less when you do have a bite. Why? Because you're allowing yourself to just enjoy it. I find that when something is off limits it feels taboo and when you eat it, you feel shame. An example of this is when we say we are “being bad” for eating a croissant. When we truly internalize that it’s not bad, it just is eating a croissant. Suddenly, it’s simply no big deal and you will likely be satisfied with that single croissant (300 calories typically) and just move on.

On the other side of the coin, I personally could take or leave rice, so I rarely eat it. If I do, I actually do shoot for a ½ cup serving and load up heavy on the veggies.

3. Shoot for the unrefined versions. Brown rice vs. white rice. Since reading this article, I’ve been more aware of added vital wheat gluten. I do try to avoid this and have found bread options that don’t add it. Try quiona. Try farro. Mix up your carb palate!

4. If you are truly a heavy carbivore -- I once was, too! Branch out and try replacing some carbs with other options. Because, like I said, we tend to overeat them. Check out spaghetti squash. Try your hand at zoodles (noddles made from zuchhini).

One of my favorite exercises is the “12oz Curl”. I try to do multiple reps until the six-pack is gone. I always feel more sexy and interesting by the end, but for some reason other folks don't always agree. They say things like “sir, put your pants back on” and “if you sing Bohemian Rhapsody one more time, I'm calling the cops”. Is this because they're jealous that I'm pretty much a semi-pro athlete or does it mean I need to up my game and go for the twelve pack?

Catherine: Good question! While a twelve-pack is pretty much, anatomically...impossible, I see where you are going with this. I would advise you to continue your regimen, but add a 60-second plank after every “curl”. Then, take an aspirin and call me in the morning.

You have an adorable dog named Stella. If she were suddenly turned into a cocktail by a drunk wizard, what cocktail would she be, and would that be considered having some “hair of the dog”?

Catherine: Excellent question! Stella is actually the most interesting dog in the world, so I can understand why you’d ask this. In cocktail-form she would be an artisanal whiskey cocktail. Just last week while dining at Beretta in San Francisco my dining companion had a cocktail named the "Wind-Up Bird" with Japanese whiskey that was, truly, Stella in a glass. Much like her minimalist markings, the presentation had no bells and whistles, simply one of those enormous ice cubes the size of my cereal bowl. Much like the color of her ears, the drink was a warm shade of caramel. Though it was most definitely a stiff drink, it was not alcohol-forward, but rather a smooth wash of warm butterscotch that vaguely hinted at spicy clove notes at the end. In short, it was strong, surprising and sassy. Just like my pup, Stella.

I try to end all my interviews with a three part question. Let me set the scene: It's a rainy day, but you were just out in it throwing medicine balls and kettle bells around like a champ. Now you're home, dry and cozy in your bathrobe. Sitting on the couch with the dog you watch the rain hit the window and the rest of the day is yours. What food are you eating? What drink are you drinking? Finally what song is doing push-ups in your ear hole?

Catherine: Well, if we’re talking ideal scenario here and I think we are: a perfectly roasted chicken, kale salad, sweet potato and a ridiculously hoppy IPA.

While I had a long run of Beer-Can-Chicken, lately my favorite way to make a delicious chicken is as follows: crank up the oven to 425 degrees. Rub said chicken with salt, pepper and Herbes de Provence. Go heavy on all three spices. I like to put all three in a small bowl, mix it up and that way I’m not cross-contaminating anything, but can feel free to go to town with the herbs and bird. Butter under the skin is an option I sometimes choose. Olive oil on top of the skin is not optional. Cook it breast-side down. I know, blasphemy right? Cook it for 60 minutes, perhaps a little more, but do cook to a 165-degree internal temperature. This will knock your socks off: crispy skin, succulent meat and that breast will be juicy since all the liquids have been running into it while roasting.

My kale must be lovingly massaged and macerated. My most favorite and simple way to make this salad is with avocado, freshly squeezed lemon juice, thinly sliced red onion and plenty of sea salt.

Sweet potatoes are best when they are baked in the oven and have their natural sweetness brought out in full splendor. I usually add a little butter, sea salt and black pepper. Sometimes I skip the butter, though.

I am first and foremost a beer girl. And IPAs have my heart. Dogfish Head’s 90-minute IPA is basically perfect, so for this perfect meal, I’ll have a cold one, please, in a pre-chilled pint glass.

This meal is my idea of heaven in my home. My favorite part is when I take a piece of the chicken with some crispy skin and eat it with a bite of soft, sweet potato. It feels so damn indulgent. This meal is just as satisfying as any indulgence I’ve ever had. From the massive protein hit in the chicken, to the fat in the avocado (and chicken skin!), to the acid from the lemon, the natural sweetness in the potato, it hits all the right points. And the beauty of it is that it contains a boatload of nutrients and satisfaction. That to me is what eating is all about.

For a musical accompaniment, I’m going to go with Neutral Milk Hotel. Specifically, I’d go with their album from 1998 “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea”. I was still in high school then, so that means it’s now vintage, which basically means I’m vaguely hip in an I’m-getting-old sort of way. While I know this album has long-thought to be about Anne Frank, to me the music has that perfect quality of being happy without being cloying. Plus, it includes lots of cool instruments like a zanzithophone.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jtZx9LNpAY

If you’d like to read more about Cat and the healthy living shenanigans that she gets up to, check out her blog justlikerecess.com

She also owns BootCampSF with her brother. If you want to work out with someone that enjoys butter just like you do, inquire about her current teaching schedule by sending her an email. (info@bootcampsf.com)